The Role of Family in Addiction Recovery

February 03, 2024 | By NEOVIVA

Do you have a family member who is struggling with addiction? Then, you may be seeking ways to help them. In this blog article, we explore the steps you can take to encourage your loved one to seek professional help, the essential support they need to achieve and maintain sobriety, and how your family can take care of their own emotional well-being throughout this challenging process.

Few experiences are more daunting than witnessing misery unfold before you while standing by helplessly. From self-defeating to self-loathing, despair, or anxiety, addiction brings a torrent of negative emotions in its wake. This impact is not limited to the addicted person but also extends to everyone who loves them. However, amidst this frightful experience of seeing a loved one struggle, family members play a crucial role in recovery. The encouragement they can offer before, throughout and after the treatment is invaluable.

Educate yourself on addiction

It is normal for family members, especially parents, to ask themselves, “What did we do wrong?” and “Why didn’t we see this coming?” Shaming and blaming are frequent reactions upon learning of a family member’s substance use disorder (SUD). As is begging them to stop, threatening them with consequences if they don’t comply with treatment, or attempting to control their behaviour and the situation. However, sooner or later, loved ones often learn that none of these approaches are helpful.

Learning about addiction is key to understanding the best ways to help your loved one. Rather than attributing SUD to weakness or willfulness, understanding how drugs affect processes in the brain can help you avoid the blame game and let go of anger and resentment. The internet, bookstores, and libraries offer a wide selection of resources about the scientific research and medical perspectives of addiction. Staying informed is important, as the research and treatment of SUDs is constantly evolving.  New medications or therapies may become available for your loved one, providing a sense of hope and enabling informed discussions about the best course of action with the affected family member.

Connect with peer groups

Trying to help a struggling family member while maintaining a healthy life for yourself is not easy. This stressful situation often leads to damaged family ties, mistrust, rejection and anger, causing long-term family conflict. Therefore, family self-care when dealing with addiction is crucial. Only a strong, healthy family can offer a stable and supportive influence for their loved one.

Connecting with peers – people who have gone through or are currently experiencing similar situations – can be immensely helpful. You may feel helpless seeing your loved one trapped in the cycle of addiction, and sharing your experience with understanding peers may alleviate this feeling. Trusted programmes like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Families Anonymous, or SMART Recovery Family & Friends offer helpful guidance.

Attend family therapy

Addiction does not occur in a vacuum. It is not the isolated problem of the user, far from it. The entire family often absorb many of the devastating effects of their loved one’s addictive behaviour. Parents, siblings, spouses or children can become entangled in a web of mistrust, anger, sadness, fear, and shame. They may have neither the energy nor the knowledge and tools to free themselves and rebuild trust, (re)growing into a tight-knit family unit capable of supporting one another and the addicted member through challenging times.

Family therapy aims to provide a setting for a frank yet supportive dialogue among all affected family members. It is beneficial for resolving issues that have created estrangement and restoring the family’s balance by identifying and developing new coping skills for all family members.

Spend time together as a family

A person suffering from SUD tends to distance themselves from friends and family, whether to avoid scrutiny and criticism, hide the addiction, or spend more time acquiring and using drugs. On the other side, family members may also avoid spending time with the addicted person, further intensifying the isolation. It is vital, however, that everyone commits to “family time” dedicated to reconnecting, coming together, and strengthening common ground. Family time helps build upon the work done and the progress achieved in family therapy. Why not decide to prepare meals and enjoy them as a family? For example, rituals like family dinners can promote a sense of togetherness and inspire communication on everyday issues like school, work, or sports.

Manage expectations

Just as addiction develops gradually, it also takes time to treat. Addiction will not disappear “just like that” simply because the family member suffering from addiction has entered treatment. It may be tempting to let high hopes flood your mind with relief. At the same time, it is important to maintain realistic expectations. The journey to recovery can take a long time as behavioural patterns associated with SUD need to change profoundly. Educating yourself about the nature of addiction may help you to acknowledge that this process requires time, enormous effort, motivation, and intention from the addicted person. It is important to know that relapse is often part of this process. Recovery means learning to change and also learning from mistakes during this journey.

Don’t forget self-care and personal joy

For families dealing with addiction, the focus often automatically shifts towards the addicted family member. Every sign of progress along the recovery path can trigger sparks of joy, while every setback often leads to frustration and sadness. However, it is vital not to let your happiness solely depend on the sobriety of the addicted member. Take time to indulge in activities that are fulfilling and relaxing, such as hiking, volunteer work, playing an instrument, arts & crafts, etc. These activities serve as mental health boosters and soothe simultaneously. Physical exercise, especially, helps reduce stress and depression as your brain is prompted to release so-called “happy hormones” like oxytocin and dopamine. At the same time, you challenge your muscles in workouts, running, or yoga sessions.

In addition to these activities, you may also want to schedule private therapy sessions to work through personal issues caused by the addiction in the family. Parents often struggle with guilt and destructive thoughts and might need to learn assertiveness skills. Siblings or children tend to develop low self-esteem, feeling neglected or burdened with expectations to compensate for the addicted person’s behaviour. In cases like these, private therapy sessions can provide much-needed help while supporting others.

Partaking in NEOVIVA’s Family Programme

At NEOVIVA, we believe that support from family members and close relations is an integral part of a successful recovery. Please contact us to learn more about our Family Programme or if you have questions about our treatment options.